Boomtime, Discord 69, YOLD 3173
I knew if I just read the news, I could find something to post on on a fairly regular basis. I'd like to talk to you today on the subject of the MPAA and movie ratings.
Apparently, as of recently, having an actor light up onscreen is enough that, unless the Ratings Board finds some special exemption to the rule (i.e: historically accurate, or the smoking is depicted with the appropriate results...like them dying of it), then the movie can now garner an "R" rating.
I'll just repeat that.
What I said was: Groucho Marx, George Burns, the Three Stooges, 101 Dalmatians (both versions), Dumbo, Pinocchio, Popeye the Sailor Man, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Foghorn Leghorn, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble, Goofy, Casablanca, E.T: the Extra Terrestrial, Red Dwarf, Elf, Bright Eyes (Shirley Temple, you know, the one where "The Good Ship Lollipop" comes from), and many other classic movies, certainly with no other content that should rate an "R" rating (okay, Red Dwarf, maybe, had it been on american TV rather than the telly), would now be rated R were they released today.
Are you fucking serious? The rationale behind this is apperently that "Smoking in movies influences children to smoke." Hm. Well, after watching "Moulin Rouge," I didn't have the urge to become a bohemian and leave my cozy job (well, perhaps not cozy, but I'm not worried about getting fired). After watching "Full Metal Jacket," I had no urge to join the Marines, nor to become a Drill Instructor. I mean, goddess above, are we to believe that we - and our children - have no moral compass, cannot think for ourselves, and must be spoon-fed every aspect of life, by a corporate shill? This grows tiresome. A six-year-old can tell the difference between pretend violence (on TV or pretending in real life), so cetainly a...what's the supposed age range that the Smoke Moguls(tm) target? Well whatever. If you child cannot tell the difference between pretend violence and real violence, then methinks hie has a few more problems than merely the movies hie watches.

The problem with this kind of thinking is, it doesn't stop there. The very fact that the religious right and the Protect Everyone Society(tm) think that I must be spoon-fed every piece of information reagding my life and how I should live it sickens me. I mean it makes me physically ill. Of course I'm going to live a good (as defined by thier moralist values) life if there are no choices! Everything fun has a consequence. Drink too much, and when you wake up, you could be hungover. Or dead, for that matter. Smoke, and you'll die earlier (I'll skip the humorous arguments about the years at the end are the shitty ones anyway). Fuck too much, and you could get aids and die. Or worse, end up with a child who is going to grow up in a world with no free choice. "They" are trying to make clockwork oranges of us all, by taking away any bad influences (as if that will stop it, we shall simply make up new and more deviate behaviors). To quote Anthony Burgess, "When a man ceases to have a choice, then he ceases to be a man."